Silent Prayers
by Sheryl Nantus
Summary: A series of thoughts from Mulders and Scullys...


All Characters copyright of TenThirteen Productions and Chris Carter. No infringement intended on any part... go ahead, take me to court...I'm using the insanity defence... heh, heh, heh... 

Comments, complaints and just plain talk to sheryl_martin@tvo.org 

Rating: G, ah... I'm not sure about the rest...Summary: A series of thoughts from Mulders and Scullys... 

Author's Note: I'm a ELC (Extremely Lapsed Catholic) and now a TD (Taoist Dragon); so any religious mistakes are my own and not intended in any way to be upsetting to anyone... apologies in advance... 

Silent Prayersby Sheryl Martin 

Dear Lord, I know it's been a while since I came to visit you. Here, I mean, in church; in our pew. But it's been harder and harder to come here alone without my family around me. 

I know and you know they're there for me; busy with their own lives. But it's a mother's job to worry. 

And I worry so much about Dana. 

I know that you're taking care of Melissa now, and Bill's up there no doubt trying to organise Heaven... but I'd appreciate it if you could watch Dana more these days. I know you were there at the hospital the first time; when she showed up after being gone for so long... 

I was so scared, Lord... and Mulder was right there when we picked up the gravestone; his face stern and solid. But I could see how heartbroken he was. 

A mother always knows these things. 

So I'm praying for those two today; Fox and Dana. Because of all my children, and I suspect most of yours; those two need your help the most. 

Amen. 

******** 

Lord, it's been a while since I even tried to pray. About a week after Samantha disappeared I realised that you couldn't be listening; that you couldn't care if you let them take my little girl. And I stopped trying to talk to you. 

Well, I'm trying to start again. 

But it's hard to have faith in a world that I know isn't as it seems. My son, all that I have left, is walking in the shadow of his father's image more and more these days. Sometimes I see him quickly in the shade and see my William when he was younger and not as deeply involved in things... 

Evil things, Lord... but all done in your name, which I am truly ashamed of. 

But as he creeps closer and closer to the light, I'm worried about what he'll find out about me - about Samantha and his father and what the truth is. 

Although I'm not even sure what that is anymore. After the stroke... I don't know if what I remember is real or just a dream. 

Or a nightmare. 

Anyway, Lord - this is my first one in a long while, and it's for my son. Please keep him safe and from harm. Because I can't anymore. 

******** 

Our Father... ah... sigh... 

It just doesn't work anymore. Reciting the same old thing. Sorry about that; but I can't do the routines without believing in them. 

And I want to believe. 

I've prayed on and off at times; you know usually when it's the worst. No atheists in foxholes and all that - most times while waiting for Mulder to wake up and start preaching to me about what he believes. 

But now this one's for both of us. Because I feel that no one can understand what we face, what we fight for. Except you. Which is right, I guess. 

Please keep an eye on Mulder - he's so determined to find the truth that I'm afraid that he'll shatter apart if he ever stopped; ever got his answers. And I couldn't take that. 

Heck, I don't even know if he's Catholic or not - never asked, to be truthful. But I don't think that matters much these days; when evil crosses all barriers and all borders. 

I'm scared, Lord. 

Please take care of my partner. 

Because I can't lose him to the shadows. I won't let them take him. 

Amen. 

******** 

Ah... dammit... 

Whoops... better edit that bit out, God... 

I know we haven't been on exactly friendly terms for awhile... okay, years. But I'm asking for a favour right now, and I know you're the only one who can give it to me. 

Yah, I've been a lousy guy. I'll admit that right up front; starting back when Sam was taken. And now that I know about my father's involvement in that and God knows what else... 

Oh... I guess you do know, don't you? 

Well, I'm not asking for myself today. 

It's my partner - you know, the redhead. 

Well, you gave her that wonderful hair. Mind you, a few more inches would have helped... 

I know - it's not my place to dictate. But a few more inches... 

Hey, you gave me this sense of humour. 

But this prayer is about her, not me. I need you to help her; bring her back to me again. You've done it before; I know you were there and that you did it - because there wasn't anything that could be done. 

You've got to bring her back to me one more time, God. 

Because I can't go on without her. 

Please? 

*********** 


End file.
